Dear Death……

Dear Death

Why do you annoy me so?

We are old acquaintances; you and I.

You don’t remember me?? Let me remind you 🙂

I stood on that street corner that day as the bomb went off. I was 200 yards away, I was not hurt. You missed me that day.

Do you remember me stepping off that kerb as the bus swung round? I watched it’s tail heading towards me. For a second, I was tempted to take you on. But I decided to allow you the benefit of the doubt. I stepped back. You missed me that day too.

Do you remember the day I needed a bus and the Catholic Priest stopped for me in Belfast, and offered me a lift as he warned me it was a dangerous bus stop? I escaped. The guy who was shot a few days later was not so lucky. You missed again.

Do you remember me as I walked past that car……you know…….the one with the device strapped under it? The device fell off and failed to explode. And I walked straight past you as you watched me with your hungry eyes.

Do you remember the articulated lorry that decided it wanted to drive over the same patch of road I was on? Do you remember me pushing the throttle and escaping you with inches to spare?

And do you remember my slitting my wrists and watching as the blood left my body? Do you remember what the nurse whispered? That in 30 years she never witnessed a quieter night?

Yes, we are old acquaintances you and I.

Would you like to know my secret???

…………I have no fear of you……………….

And I want to live, I want to live and breathe and enjoy the sensation of “being”. I want to feel my nerves tingle in the cold; my heart beat as I get excited; and my mouth go dry as I meet someone I really like. I want to taste soup on a cold winter’s day, and taste ice cream on a really warm one. I want to know how it feels to drive a brand new car, and I want to watch someone’s face as I give them the gift of their dreams.

So, why do you annoy me so?

Why do you want me to help you in you quest to end my existence? Why do you so wish for my online friends to do the same?

Why do you try to persuade us that life is not worth living?? Why do you call to us incessantly; hoping we will hear your call??

I shall never submit to you, Not until I am ready. I am not ready to give up just yet. And you shall not touch my friends. Not whilst I have breath in my lungs and nerves in my fingertips!

With some slight regard but little else,

Yours Truly.