So….how to replace a damaged soul.
Anyone tried it??
I dunno, but I dont care. I will rip this one out.
I look at it’s contents. Fear. Hate. Uncertainty. Doubt. Low esteem. Guilt. Anger. Rage. What a little box of bollocks it is.
I am getting rid of it. Period. I am who I think I am. I am who I decide I am.
I am not the product of my depressing thoughts. I am not the product of what I think other people think I am. I am not the product of what I think my mother and father wanted me to be.
I am me.
I want to be free.
I AM ME.
I am going to brainwash myself. Everyday, I focus on my thoughts.
I am not useless. I am not dumb. I am not worthless. I am not soft. I am not a loser.
I may be different, but that is not my fault. I was not born to follow the herd. I was not born to be a sheep. I was not born to get married and have 2.4 kids and live in a mortgaged house which is owned by a faceless bank.
I am not what society thinks I should be. I am different.
This soul is black. It drips grease and oil. It drips blood. My soul is a product of the western world, which is full of all the same values. It is a world of paranoia, cctv, surveillance and propaganda. The western world is built on the idea that the “haves” tell the “have nots” how they should live. Alcoholism is bad because it cost the economy money. Smoking is bad because it costs the economy money. Drugs are bad because they cost the economy money. But the idea of “capitalism”? The mainstream media are somehow quiet on this. Maybe owned by the rich? I don’t know. But somehow, the sheep are content. Somehow the idea is palatable.
And then we criticise North Korea. A monster if ever one existed. But somehow we rationalise that “their” monster is worse than ours.
It isn’t. Both monsters are the same. North Korea doesnt try to hide the fact. The West does. We are both a product of an establishment. In North Korea it is a dynasty. In the West, it is an establishment of the “Great” and the “Good”. Both of which parties are rich by the way.
I don’t find it palatable. I find it disgusting.
I am no longer looking for validation of my ideas. I am no longer looking for support. I am no longer trying to find people who can see outside the box and accept that, yes….this is a real thing. I no longer need permission from mankind to think differently.
I am not religious. But according to the old story, Jesus threw the money people out of the temple.
Maybe he had a goddam point.
I am going back to basics. My soul is coming with me. I want a pure one. For once.