Hope’s armour helps. Her presence helps too. But I can’t help wondering.
Is this it? Is this all there really is to life, in the end? Get up, get dressed, skip breakfast, catch an over-crowded bus, and deal with the mountain of paper work that grows steadily day by day.
I look at Hope as she plays with the cat. I send the image of question mark through the air at her. We don’t need to talk anymore. We use pictures. They do say a thousand words, after all.
She gently plucks the question mark out of the air, and nods her head in my direction. Upon doing so, a thousand newly-born images float benignly in the air. Some of them float towards me. I begin to examine them.
I see sunshine. Boats. Softly lapping water. I see sunsets and sunrises; and burning asteroids entering the earth’s atmosphere as I watch below.
I see chocolate cake and hot coffee. I see snow-laden windows and log fires. I see soft beds with fluffy pillow and clean, crisp sheets. I see ice-cream and fresh roses.
I see nights in – having a laugh with people I don’t even know yet. I look happy in those images. And those people….they seem to like me.
I watch as I bestow my love on a puppy as it looks upon me as the centre of it’s world.
I see people in trouble thinking that they want to call me. I have somehow managed to become a fixer it seems.
And then I see a female. Or maybe not her face, but a part of it.
We are lying in bed and we are laughing about something. I look down upon my body. It is not perfect, but it reminds me of what I once looked like before the drink and the fags and the unhealthy lifestyle killed it.
I turn my head towards her. She is looking away but I can see that her eyes are closed, and she has a rosy tint to her cheeks. Her hair is all messed up and rests idly on the clean pillow. She is laughing, and the edges of her eyes are all crinkled up. Her mouth is parted slightly.
She is laughing at something I said. What did I say???! I wish I knew.
I watch as I tilt my head forward and nuzzle her neck. Her fragrance enters my nostrils and I breathe her in. As I rub my nose upon her neck she laughs louder. It must tickle. I can feel her happiness. I can feel the effect of my presence on her. I sense the happiness that I somehow manage to bestow upon her.
The image disappears.
Hope is still playing with the cat. Suddenly, she snaps her head in my direction.
I don’t need to think.
“Good answer, honey.” I answer out loud. I tun my attention to the cat’s happy purrs as she reclines under Hope’s gentle touch.
And the magic begins to infuse me.